Christmas Present

I drove over to the school in torrential rain this morning, which turned to rattling hail just as I drew up in the carpark. The meeting went well, and I am going to start doing a couple of counselling sessions a week for them in the new year, initially for ten weeks, and then see where we go from there. Which I think translates as if things go well, they might well want more of my time... The vibe was friendly and informal in the school, the senior teacher I met with very easy to talk to, able to listen and to think! That of course in the teeth of the constant ringing of the phone, babbling of the walky talky and knocks at the door! Ah, schools... I am so happy to have secured some regular work, albeit on a small scale. I think this is how it's going to be - small but significant pieces of a patchwork of freelance work, rather than conventional employment.

A light covering of snow fell shortly after I got home, so everything outside is pale again if not uniformly white. There's more snow forecast, so I'm very happy there is nowhere much I have to go beyond local shops and friends for the next couple of weeks.

Shakin' All Over

Having maintained my recovery pretty well up to that point, yesterday evening I had a very strange episode of uncontrollable shivering and shaking. I'd gone to bed, been asleep a little while, woke up, went to the toilet, got back into bed, and began to feel very unwell in an intangible way. I turned on the light and called to L who was in the bathroom, who came and held my clammy hand while the shakes overtook me. I've never known the like. So stange when one's body feels altogether out of control. Great waves of shiver rolling down my spine. Couldn't be still, couldn't be warm. Eventually, with hot water bottle and many layers of clothing and bedclothes, it subsided. I still felt unwell and unable to settle back to sleep til around 3am, but no fever. My stomach felt a little tender, but nothing else developed. Mystery. Wiped out today, but mostly just sleep-deprived I think, and no recurrence of the shaking to date.

Weather forecast says the mercury's going down again. With possible snow. I'm hoping not tomorrow morning on my way over to Halifax for my school meeting...

One

I have just realised that something else has slipped by - the first anniversary of The Phoenix! I had forgotten that I started it quite so much in the middle of the fallout - before even my 'official' last day in the job. The anniversary of that has now passed too, I'm happy to say. It has been a tough year, but I'm proud I got myself here, kept writing even when it all felt beyond me.

I'm still depleted from my flu, and have an unusually busy week this week, so I'm trying to pace myself. I have a meeting on Thursday about the possibility of doing some counselling in a local school. Fingers crossed something comes of this. I'll have more to say when this week is over!

Sliding By

The first few Christmas cards have arrived. While I've been languishing in my pyjamas, drinking gallons of pale pink juice, the days of Advent have been sliding by. I have little concept of Christmas actually happening in two weeks time, but I know it will manage to manifest somehow. It always does. I know I will feel better, will buy a tree, will go shopping, collect the turkey, buy some stocking fillers for L and so forth. Just glimpsing the light at the end of the flu tunnel today, as the aches in my legs, arms and back finally recede, and my head begins to feel a little less like a hot air balloon. In the end I had to cancel everything this week. Which, ironically included two meetings about potential work opportunities, one voluntary, one paid. Ironically because there are many weeks when nothing so progressive is scheduled. Luckily, people are understanding about illness, wish me warm and well, wait to meet me next week. This is the moment, right now, when my young client usually runs along the path and knocks heartily on the door. I almost expect to hear her now, but sadly I have had to ask her to wait til next week too.

My World

Plaid pyjamas
Flannelette sheets
Aching legs, aching arms, aching back
Hot water bottles
Radio 4
Paracetamol used sparingly as I can manage
Sleep (aided by paracetamol)
Coughing
Balsam tissues
A hoarse voice
Reading 'Tender Morsels' by Margo Lanagan - a juicy reworking of the Snow White and Rose Red fairy tale - being carried off to another world
Peeking out at the white world outside
Sneezing painfully
More balsam tissues

Nest

Suffering some sort of lurgy. Sore throat and swollen glands are my main symptoms and just feel a bit woozy and a bit achey, so I'm staying in the warm house. I haven't left it since the pub trip on Friday night, for which three friends joined us in the end, all the others staying home in their jammies... Not sure if I picked this thing up in the pub or whether I'd already been incubating it, but one way or another I am jolly glad I didn't travel south on Friday.

The snow is still lying thick on the fields and gardens, mostly just slush on the pavements, though some of it refreezes and then it's dangerous, the gritted roads clear, side roads mostly treacherous with ice. It is like living in another country. One where all the inhabitants wear hats. The birds enjoy the food L puts out for them every day, and we enjoy watching them. It turns out dear little robins can be pretty aggressive.

As for the mouse problem, we caught one very small specimen in a trap a few nights ago, and I took it out and left it to its doom in the snow. It was very sweet and bright-eyed, but we had to say goodbye! Since then, no more captives, and no more tell-tale mouse poo around the kitchen. So maybe it was just a lone chancer, come in out of the bad weather to munch on our apples, and hide out behind the cupboards. Too soon to be absolutely certain, but I'm beginning to think there was not a nest full of babies after all. Good.

Snowbound

I haven't gone down south, and here's why!

We had about a foot of snow on Wednesday. It's very beautiful, and ferociously cold and icy. -10C last night, or that's what was forecast and I think it wasn't far off. I hummed and hawed for a while, listened to the radio, checked weather, travel and news websites obsessively, heard stories of people stranded overnight on trains, saw that severe weather warnings were ongoing into the weekend... and ultimately decided to stay home in the warm, and try to get down to my Mum's another time. My Mum, though disappointed, was relieved not to have to be worrying about my safe passage (as she would certainly have done), and so was I. It's my friend K who I think is taking it hardest. Understandably. Her friend has now gone into the local hospice, and I dearly wish I could have spent some time with her to give her such support and courage as I can. And hugs. But I can't. Not this time anyway. K is a very determined, dogged individual, and a very seasoned traveller, and would probably have braved it in my place, which makes me feel a bit crap about this. Yet, I still know it's the right decision for me. As for the group lunch, well, it's sad, but they do meet four times a year, so I'm hoping I may be able to join them in the spring!

So, I'm here to see this.

And this.

And to put on five or six layers to go the five minute walk along the road to the pub this evening to meet at least one friend. Hopefully half a dozen, if they can be persuaded to brave the cold and come up here! The buses are running so there's no excuse really.