New Battery

My watch has stopped at 9.37. I am uncertain of the significance of this, other than that I will have to go into town and buy a new battery from the jeweller's with the Eastern European name. They usually ask me to go away and come back, giving them time to fiddle about with it, so I will go and buy tofu from the wholefood shop for our dinner. I dreamed repeatedly last night of the wholefood shop where I worked in my mid-twenties. I was telling others who worked there that D, the owner, was ok really, once you got used to his controlling ways...

I have spent much of the morning researching and purchasing car insurance. A relief to have concluded the process (though I just got a call from one of the comparison websites, eager to muscle in). L is mowing the lawn with our new push-mower, which whirrs agreeably in the background. Later we'll go down to the allotment and see how the potatoes, garlic and onions are doing. And the weeds... It rained yesterday at last but only a kind of murky drizzle, so I expect the ground will still be dry and watering will be required again.

The trip South was a big mixture. The best bit was being in SW London in glorious weather, and spending time with old friends in old haunts. Actually the very best bit was that the going away and coming home again has somehow allowed me to shift from the stuck, miserable place where I was, has opened a little window and let in an enlivening breeze to blow away the stale air. Or something. I don't know the best metaphor, but I know I feel much better, more purposeful, more excited, more optimistic, and am writing poetry again... It may have been one of those 'rock bottom' experiences. In bed at my mother's on Sunday night I felt utterly hopeless, frustrated, full of self-loathing and angry, and began to talk to L about it, and this somehow was the turning point, or the moment I felt the turn begin.

More soon, but now I must away to my notebook!