Insomnia on an epic scale last night leaves me tonight at home while L goes out for drinks with our gang of friends. I'm listening to Rufus Wainwright and sipping a beer, and feeling not too bad as long as I don't have to do anything much, and gently anticipating the earliest of nights. It's such a relief when these episodes pass, it's tempting to put them out of mind, but I'm doing my best to talk about the problem to L as much as I can, because I just have to deal with this or it's going to deal with me. Two hours' sleep is not even close to enough, and worse than that, spending half the night in simmering panic is just ruinous for the nervous system. I get away with it (just) because I only work mornings at the moment. It's the afternoon when I plummet from sleep-deprivation. Next week could see the advent of proprietary sleep medicines in these parts.
I really do fear that I'm dying
I really do fear that I'm dead
singeth Rufus. Oh, there are such moments...
5 comments:
Oh dear, how horrible sleep deprivation is, I know as a fellow insomniac! Hope things get better soon, these seem to sometimes come in phases.
I don't run to the medicine cabinet as a rule, but this seems to be a long standing problem for you. Have you considered medication? Or joining a gym and getting regular exercise? There's nothing like physical tiredness to really plunge one into a full night's sleep.
Yes, I think it's time to resort to a bit of help. It can't be safe to be trying to function on so little sleep, and you know you'll use it judiciously.
I've not had insomnia in a while now, which is curious because I've been experiencing some very intense anxiety. But I know of your pain: it's so enervating on every level and it does erode energy and resolve. What medication have you tried?
M and D - I've tried Nytol - it's antihistamine based and didn't help much. Made my brain feel warm and fuzzy til the anxiety kicked in. But I'm going to give it another go as that was a few years ago. I am reluctant to get into the heavier end of the range, for fear of after-effects. I generally don't 'do' medication of any kind, except paracetamol...
M-L - I sleep fine the rest of the time, it's just the nights before work. Hopefully as I settle into the new roles I'll relax.
L - I don't think it's unsafe particularly, but certainly unhealthy. I know I'm not at my best, and that is very frustrating, but I can function (I've done it so many times...)
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