Building up to the birthday and on holiday now for 10 days. The colours of the leaves are so strong this year they seem at times to generate light, especially in the mist - was it the wet summer? I stand and stare at long orange grasses, pink yellow and green willow herb, deep red-chestnut-brown there is no word for in the trees down in the valley of Hebden Water amongst the more familiar yellow, gold and fading green. I feel them in my chest, breathe them in in in.
Happy-sad-happy-sad-happy-sad. So happy and so sad. The past is gone gone gone. There is only now, and the old selves I carry with me need me to love them, really really love them, along with my now self. Love them and tell them that it can be different now. But that is up to me and nobody else. Day by day I am making this decision.
1 comment:
Well spoken, Fire Bird - lovely post. You are already well on the way to doing that, it seems. And you have reminded me that I need to do that too.
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