Friday, 14 June 2013

Don't Want

Fresh green leaves tremble, wonder if they got the season right. Tom Ravenscroft plays curious music on Radio 6 Music, always a little reminiscent of his late father John Peel. I drink a glass of the Wine Society's French Full Red. I ponder my refound ability to enjoy alcohol, which is entirely thanks to my refound ability to sleeeeep. Even when I am working. Even when my mother is languishing in Watford General. I never got there last weekend - stolen cable caused signal non function at our local station and I was unable to set out, so barring a repeat of that or some act of God or Godzilla, I shall go on Monday. Today's report from my sister is that my mother is VERY confused, almost ga-ga. I of course don't want to go/ don't want not to go/ don't want to feel I have no choice but to go/ don't want to be dealing with this/ don't want...

4 comments:

Sabine said...

Listening here as well. Cheers on the sleep recovery!!!
It's most likely a rough road with/for your mother, I wish you strength and compassion. Stay with it, if you run it could be even harder.

Fire Bird said...

Thanks Sabine, I know you're right. No running just lots of feelings!

Lucy said...

It'll feel a bit better once you're on your way, taking action, anticipation is the worst part. Take care and rest well, at least you can have a glass of wine to ease things sometimes. So sorry you've got this to get through.

Pam said...

Sympathy about your mum. In my experience, illness/accidents in old people cause confusion, not necessarily permanent. But it's awful.