Wind and rain doing a passable imitation of March today. Just trying to catch up on the filing of paperwork for my mother's pensions, bank accounts, phone bills, care home fees. It has all been sitting in a basket that does service as an in tray since December. Anything that actually required action I have managed to keep up with, but the putting away of pieces of paper in an orderly fashion has been beyond me.
And here I am, week two of another period of sick leave, currently until 30th May. And about to go onto half pay. I am fragile right now. I can't be with the trauma and distress of others, as it tires and overwhelms me. I lose my boundaries, grow distressed and exhausted.
So here I am, resting and catching up with myself in all sorts of ways. Being as patient, gentle and kind as I can, as I find my way through a kind of disintegration / reintegration.
There are many invitations to become a patient. Offers of diagnostic labels, drugs, a request from school for information from my doctor about my 'condition' and 'prognosis'. If I have a condition it is traumatic grief but that isn't the one the doctor proposed.
I am healing, slowly.
6 comments:
Going part time- I suppose this is what half pay implies - sounds like a very good step. Go slowly and mindfully into the summer, time heals.
No, I get 2 months' sick leave on full pay and two on half pay - have just crossed the threshold.
Well, that's two whole months of spring and summer for you. Try not to think of the money or the future. Be good to yourself.
Yes, I will. Thank you.
Fire Bird x
And x from me too.
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