Unfathomable

All these years of living in this place inside,
knowing and not knowing its contours and walls,
temperature and tightness.
The long hours of each day spent in here,
yet still sometimes the total mystery
of waking up and finding myself
in half-light, dawn eating through thick curtains,
the outlines of cupboards or chairs emerging.
That coming to consciousness;
suddenly finding it unknown,
unconnected, unfathomable.