Limbo

Preparing and not preparing for the job interview. I think there is definitely such a thing as over-preparation. It's not an exam I have to crib for after all... On the whole I think I am amply qualified and suitably experienced to undertake all the duties this job involves. I need to be grounded, calm (as far as is possible) and just be myself rather than performing. I have prepared my little presentation and shall polish it some more tomorrow. I've washed my interview outfit, and L will iron it (I don't iron!) I have looked at the route, and checked the sat nav is working. Anticipation is tiring. I just wish it was over now. There feels a little too much at stake, though I tell myself there will be other jobs, if I don't get it, and of course, I'm right...

I have neither left nor not left my temporary job, but am not going in this week, and have arranged to meet my 'boss', finally returned from Italy, next week, when I will know if I've got the 'proper' job, and have had time to think, if not, about what I want to do. She seemed to understand on the phone today that I can't do any more cold-calling, but I'm not clear if there's any other role for me there...

Meanwhile the new car is fine, though it lacks the acceleration of Elfie, which is sad on our steep hills, but I'm getting used to its ways! And there is a distracting reflection all along the bottom of the windscreen, of a kind of grille where rain can drain away. Brains being what they are, I probably won't even notice it next week, but for now it is an irritant. The stereo is better than Elfie's, but other than that there isn't much I can find to prefer... Still I'm trying to give it a good welcome. Unfortunately J phoned to say that Elfie had misbehaved on the first trip to work, the engine over-revving wildly, and so I am crossing all fingers and toes this won't turn out to be a major and expensive problem. Something similar happened when I was driving her once years ago and then seemed to right itself, so I hope the same will happen again.

I emailed round the poets about the next meeting and one of them, a former teacher of mine emailed back that she would definitely be coming even if it's only to make [me] write more poems... She liked the poem I took to the last meeting - the only thing I've written in months, and this is the spur I need - someone wants me to write more poems! I find it hard to convey how much that message meant to me.