Stop Press

This morning the letter came - inviting me for an interview for the job next Thursday! I had despaired too soon. I think I could not bear the tension of waiting for the postman, hoping and expecting something day after day. Couldn't go on doing that so decided it was too late to keep hoping after Thursday. And then, lo and behold, I am shortlisted after all... Confusing. At first when I read the letter I was actually annoyed and swore at the organisation for putting me through the despond of the last two days by keeping me waiting so unreasonably long, but then rapidly felt my self-esteem climb like mercury up a thermometer taken out into the sun. I feel as if my sense of world order has been re-established, my judgement of what I am capable of. I am also (still) afraid to want this too much. But will try just to do my best and see what comes. Another step towards recovery from November's assault.