Outpatients II

There is no-one but me waiting in this little corridor, outside the outpatient minor surgery theatre. I sit on one of four grey speckled plastic padded chairs, with a small coffee table separating them two and two, a few unattractive magazines not fully covering its wood effect formica top. The fluorescent light makes my eyes feel funny. I can hear the doctor's voice from inside the theatre, but not what he's saying - then laughter - he seems to have quite a line in cheery repartie. The previous patient had refused to have local anaesthetic - fearful of the needle - and is told his GP will discuss general anaesthetic with him. It might need some thought as you're not the fittest says the small woman in blue cap and scrubs. She then suggests he go and wash off the ink marks with which the areas of his face that were to be treated have been ringed. He suggests he could do it at home. She, as if speaking to a child, but not unkindly says you've got biro on your face - go into the toilet and wash it off. He complies silently.

Two tanks of medical oxygen on their wheeled stands wait silently beneath a poster that says Targeting Oxygen Safety. It is all about O2 saturations, from 88% to 98% illustrated by a target with five rings of different colours. Nearby, weirdly since this is a place where clearly the public wait regularly, if not in vast numbers, other posters declare that Bradford Teaching Hospitals are having a year of improving patient safety. The branding for this series of posters is the word SAFE! made to look like a rubber stamp, in various colours. There's a poster about patient observations, another about ward rounds. What makes a great ward round? it asks. A series of bullet points includes Patient dignity and privacy is maintained. Also Patients are introduced to yourself and colleagues. (I think of Getting On, the excellent and excruciating recent dark 'comedy' series on the BBC starring Jo Brand, in which the ward rounds were - well, not great anyway...) The poster about patient observations carries the slogan Competent staff = confident patients.