Say Something

The strangeness of limbo. Waiting to learn that references have been received, either 'satisfactory' or not. Waiting to hear what the school makes of my response to their weird job description - a proposal to do things a bit differently from what I'd agreed to so far. I'd much rather approach the 'whole thing' as one big project - the setting up of a counselling service in a school - than do it piecemeal, a few sessions with a couple of kids, with little or no ground work, and no time for what we used to call 'relationship building' in my late unlamented job. Also waiting to hear something about another possibility for earning some money that a friend has put me onto. I'll save the details til anything actually happens. Been waiting about a month on that one. Waiting too for my membership of grandiose professional organisation one must join in order to demonstrate professionalism to come through. Until which time I cannot put an entry on their 'find a therapist' database, nor another website where therapists and counsellors advertise their services, where one must state which grandiose professional organisation one belongs to, and they will check the truth of one's claim.

And the wind murmurs down the chimney and the afternoon light comes and goes in the kitchen, as clouds blow across the low winter sun. It's cold again - hovering around the zero mark, a tiny scattering of snow this morning. I drink an experimental coffee and eat a toasted tea cake with friend H, who recommends Slippery Elm for dodgy tummy and Mag Phos tissue salts for sleep and various other ills. And reminds me of Flower Remedies for soothing the darker moods. Who needs a doctor or healer with a friend like her? The coffee and tea cake (with butter yet) have done no harm, and were much enjoyed, so there!

Birthday season in our family - my niece's last week, brother's yesterday, mother's on Sunday. The family gathering to eat Sunday lunch with her, except me. I was supposed to have a seminar on Saturday so planned my near-to-birthday visit for last weekend. Seminar has been postponed, due to student demonstrations in Manchester on Saturday, but please don't tell my Mum... It's mad really - the thing that makes her most anxious, and therefore liable to outbursts of unreasonable fury, is having lots of people around her. Originally she said she didn't want to do anything much for her birthday, the big one having been last year, but seems to have been persuaded by her brother and sister-in-law that a 'celebration' is a good idea. How glad I am of the phantom seminar. She can't get much really from sitting round a table with nine people. They'll all talk to each other, and she'll zone out, occasionally getting cross and frustrated. Unless maybe my sweet nephew sits himself next to her and makes sure to stay in touch with her amidst the hurly burly.

L is in Leeds hunting for shoes and a padded jacket, so I have the house to myself. This is both good and bad. Good really, but sometimes I drift into inertia. Shall try to get back to the Dad letters after this. Not sure where I'm going with them. Just need to keep on the scent of the energy in the words. Hunt down the exciting, moving, funny or weird bits, and see what they show me. I should also be planning something about the work in the school, where I have a meeting next Wednesday. Hard to know exactly what to plan at the moment...

Hard to know exactly what to plan at the moment.