Start

Just possibly things are looking up around here. I finally got back through the doors of the school for the postponed meeting, which went well, and met properly the woman I will mostly be liaising with as we say in the world of work... who I liked and who was warm, friendly and obviously pleased I'm joining the team. She told me I love these kids. I smiled, said that's what they need. We met one in the corridor, a girl who had a headache and thought she'd like to put ice on it. F discouraged this, recommended drinking water instead. The girl agreed. I told F I thought putting ice on my head would give me a headache not cure one. We explore a few possible rooms for me to work in, returned in the end to the originally suggested very small one known as the No Worries Room! Maybe we should rename it the Worries Room... still, the right general vibe I guess. It's very small, but we figured we could just squeeze in two easy chairs, and there's space to paint or draw or use clay, and it has it's own adjoining toilet, always a plus, and handy to have a basin to wash painting stuff up. I had not been sure painting would be an option but I'd kind of like to offer the possibility.

I got the Census Collector job. Dazzlingly speedy response! Have had to provide references, documents, a photograph, all in a very short space of time, but that's fine. Let's get on with it I say. I have got the full 7 weeks' work which means I ought to make over £1500 gross, which is really quite a marvellous prospect at this moment in my life. And the weird thing is the area I'll be working includes the area where the school is, and I discovered today there's an entirely wonderful route over there, cross country, without having to drop down to the main road. I went by the main road and it took me 40 minutes, came back the scenic way and it took 20. Scenic is a bit of an understatement. It's jaw-droppingly beautiful and the route goes through the entire area I'll be Census collecting in. L and I went to look at a house over that way when we were house-hunting to move up here from London. Having earlier in the day decided to make an offer on the house we did in fact buy, we were persuaded by the estate agent just to have a look at this one. The position was so awesome, we were briefly entirely confused as to what to do, and in our confusion got utterly lost. I remember stopping the car in exasperation and anguish, just gazing out at these vast expanses of steeply sloping fields, feeling in some weird hybrid of heaven and hell. We were right not to move there then, as it's quite remote, and we didn't know anyone here then, and I think would have felt isolated, but my God it's beautiful. I'll take photos when I'm over that way knocking on doors, and put some up here.

I also had a call from one of my therapist friends with a potential referral of a young person for therapy. He's passed on my number to the parent, so we'll see if they get in touch. Even the possibility makes me feel better. In fact all of the above makes me feel the beginnings of a picture of a future emerging, even if for now just the short-term future. It's a start...